Freakish Friday Flurries (that referring to thoughts)

Danny just left for alert. He goes out to the Launch Control Center and spends a full 24 hours there. When he returns, he has meetings and will return home around 3 p.m. tomorrow. It’s what missileers do several times a month. Luckily, right now he only has alerts two to three times a month.

I walked him to the front door. Then I watched from the front door as he walked to his car. We have a small porch that is about 8-inches higher than the driveway. You couldn’t tell there was a difference this morning until he sunk about 10 or 11 inches walking across the driveway.

Suddenly, crazy thoughts start flying through my head as I wave goodbye and close the door.

He’s leaving for a whole day and I’ll have to shovel this by myself! No, the squadron will come shovel it because he’s going on alert! Yeah! Oh crud, I have to make cookies for them. It’s cookies or alcohol and we don’t drink alcohol. I’ll make cinnamon swirl cake box cookies! Yeah! Good thing I bought two boxes on sale last week. I’ll have plenty to share with the kids.

So I head down to the basement and grab two boxes of cake mix. And then the horrible thought occurs to me,

I have no eggs. I boiled them all for snacks and lunches knowing I’d be going grocery shopping last night. But then the wretched blizzard started and I didn’t go. I can’t make cookies with boiled eggs! Can I make cookies without eggs? I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to experiment on cookies for other people. Flashback to Bun's cake that I put mayonnaise in due to lack of eggs.

“Hmm… Darn,” I say out loud. “What’s wrong?” says Pookie. “What’s da matter?” says G. “Whappened?” inquires Bun. “Oh nothing,” I lie. “Just looking for something. Who wants toast?” So I serve up toast to the midgets and burn my own being distracted.

The crazy thoughts continue . . .

I’ll just hide in my house and pretend no one’s home. They’ll shovel and leave. Why would no one be home? Hmm…”There’s a pregnant lady and three very young kids that live here and her husband’s on alert, and there’s no tire tracks. Where could they be? Are they dead?” And then they'll knock on my door.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SERIES OF CRAZY THOUGHTS TO ANSWER THE PHONE. THIS JUST IN. ALERT HAS BEEN CANCELED TODAY! YIPEE! BLIZZARD TOO HORRENDOUS. Or as the Emergency Weather Service warned us the other day, “Conditions are hazardous hazardous.” Hehe. I thought that was so funny—the hazardous hazardous part. That must be really hazardous.

So then I tell Danny about this crazy post I’m amid typing up and how “Hallelujah I don’t have to bake cookies!” and he says, “You should probably prepare some anyway.” But then I pipe up, “But we don’t have eggs! How am I going to make cookies without eggs?! I’ll just hide in the house, okay?” He says, “But you always hide in the house.” I say, “No I don’t. Last time you hid in the house and you also didn’t tell me they were coming.” He says, “I was getting dressed.” I finally figure out, “Why don’t you bring me some eggs and I’ll make dozens and dozens of cookies.” But he can’t leave the office in these hazardous hazardous conditions. So I tell him, “Fine, you tell your little shovelers (who aren’t really little but actually much taller than him) that it’s YOUR fault they have no cookies, not mine.” And then sadly, but very opportunistic, the phone line goes dead. But it’s nothing exciting like a power outage (which wouldn’t be so welcome in 19° Fahrenheit weather or 2° Fahrenheit with windchill), just an uncharged cordless phone.

I call him back on my cellphone and explain that I’m going to finish my post anyway.

Now I’m thinking, maybe I’ll make caramel corn. Everyone loves caramel corn. I could put it in cute little bags for each of them with tags if I have the time. Then I could make some for the kids and me and have a caramel corn eating fest while playing in our living room fort and racing around on our toes (click on toes for an explanation and scroll down to her Self Portrait February 27, 2007, post). Sounds good.