I was feeling pretty good about myself running errands while Danny was at work- not asking him to expend more energy after a long day to run my errands. I didn't make a list because it was a last minute thought. So on the way to Wal-Mart I had the kids each memorize what we were supposed to get.
After we'd been walking around Wal-Mart about 10 minutes finding our items I saw a man see us. He looked absolutely disgusted after surveying us, shook his head, and walked on. My stomach dropped. My mood darkened slightly. What business is it to him how many children I have? It's not like they were acting like the usual monkeys they are. They weren't crying with snot running down their faces. They weren't reaching wildly for things. I wasn't telling them "Don't touch that!" They weren't fighting or poking each other. They were being very good. I was pleased with my brood. My little ducklings who were now following me obediently in a line with Gabbers only occasionally stepping on my flip flops were cute and quiet. In hindsight they were probably tired. I tried to think of what I might say if he or someone else said something rude to me like last time, "Got enough kids?!" or "Man I feel sorry for you." But as I thought of these previous comments I felt sicker. So I let it go.me (Nikki): Pookie?
Pookie: stuffing and Corn syrup
me: Gabbers?
Gabbers: gravy mix and straws (only time of year, by the way, that I buy gravy mix and it's to enhance the amount I'm able to make from the turkey drippings and grrr! it was expensive)
me: Bun?
Bun: address labels and vitamin C drink
**repeated 5 more times**
Good for you I patted myself on the back. Don't let anyone else decide how you feel.
Then I continued shopping. And when I finally remembered where the office supplies section of our recently remodeled Wal-Mart was I found myself in the same aisle with this man again. I was actually on the same side of the aisle right next to him apparently looking at the same thing. And he looked disgusted again. Really disgusted. How dare I share the same space with him. I wanted to blurt out, "I'm NOT octomom for heaven's sake! I actually married BEFORE having children and my husband is STILL in the picture and we're not relying on food stamps. I love all my kids and take them to church. And I DO KNOW what causes it."
But I did not say that. No ma'am. I bought Cheetos instead.
12 comments:
I recently became a mother of 5. I am shocked by what people think they can say to me when we are all out in public now. I usually just smile and say something along the lines of "it's not for everyone, but it works for us."
Doesn't it infuriate you!! I get looks and comments and I only have FOUR. Four isn't that many kids. I'm still looking for the uber come back that leaves people stammering and conveys how much I love and really WANTED to have the children I have, but I still have yet to come up with it. Let me know if you find something :)
Don't you dare let people bug you about how many kids you have! I think parenting a big family is a dying art. I think you are a fantastic mom, and 6 is not even THAT huge of a family. Just because whacko media now tells us that anything beyond 1 is selfish, and anything beyond 2 is just plain crazy, doesn't mean we have to fall in that trap. We know what God wants us to do. And we can hold our heads high about it.
Oh Nikki... I'm sorry you had to endure his glare. It just makes you wonder what kind of family he is from to despise children and dedicated mothers so much.
Even some people with children do the glaring because they only had kids because it "was the thing to do", not because they actually wanted them, or accepted the blessings bestowed upon them openly.
Keep up the good work! I was impressed right away in your post with the fact that your kids were so well behaved. I only have 2 to take to the stores and I go crazy with them not staying near me. lol I would have been clapping as you walked by if I had seen your clan. :)
I don't know what gives people the right to think they can make judgements and make it obvious to others by their looks or rude comments. I wish you would have told that man what you were thinking because he should know you are a great mom.
Do you walk around Walmart glaring or smirking or making comments at people you see that have heinous tattoos or have their cleavage hanging out, or were just outside of the door smoking, or have body odor or have multiple piercings or are buying tons beer? No, and I don't either even though I might not agree with those things because we were raised to have manners. Seriously, why is having a lot of kids a reason people think they can be rude. I'm so bugged for you.
Just remember that having a lot of kids may bring out the rude people or be stressful at times, but really is a blessing. Just keep plugging along.
on the airplane recently, a lady walked by us (Erin with her 4 kids and Troy and I with our 3 kids) and made a comment right next to Erin that all could hear. It was in a snotty voice and something about how she hoped she'd be nowhere near us. And the kids were all being great right then. Rude!
I totally have been there and it's the worst. I just pray on the next aisle there will be the nice, little grandma that fauns over the herd of beautiful children to make me feel better.
Melessa-
I really like how you word that. I will hopefully not be flustered enough to try it.
Brooke-
Thank you for that. I will keep that in mind. I do have those opportunities as well, and it does make me feel very good about my God-given role.
You totally should have flipped him the bird. But leslie's right. This hoe skinny girl totally made a rude comment about not wanting to sit by all our kids. I wanted to flick her head, but I was certian that would give her brain damage. ha ha.
Nikki - if you see me making a strange face at you, it's not of disgust but more of amazement. My two drive me batty and I don't know how you all with more kids do it. You are special people:-)
Oh, sweetie --- I remember when we had just five of our nine and I was so proud of my little brood! Then a nice-looking older gentleman walked past us. asked if all these children were mine, and I replied with a big smile and a big "yes"...then the man firmly said, "Shame on You!" I think my jaw dropped clear to my toes.
When I was expecting our ninth baby, even my parents and siblings were rude and hurtful with comments. Don't EVER let the negative comments get to you. Keep smiling and enjoy those wonderful children, they are so fortunate to have you and Dan for their parents!
I can relate, though I have half the number of kids as you and comments and stares are less common. You are wonder woman! I am amazed that you had all of your kids at Walmart! I hope you don't mind, but I linked this post to a similar experience I had recently. I also linked Dan's advice for rude people. You guys are great and I hope everything is going well for you.
Post a Comment