Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Math used to be easy for me.

One 3-year old boy plus one 3-year old boy does not equal two 3-year old boys. 
(The correct answer:  They equal ten 3-year old boys.)
When one 3-year old boy uses five size 5 diapers a day, and the other 3-year old boy uses five size 5 diapers a day, and the 21-month old Peach uses five size 3 diapers a day, and the one month old Biscuit uses ten size Newborn diapers a day, (and the 8 year old girl occasionally takes one newborn diaper for her dolls and stuffed animals) and each diaper must be changed in 30 seconds max (except the stuffed animals) before others remove theirs and paint the walls with their contents, how many gray hairs does the momma get in one week's time?

When a momma has to pump milk for her unable to nurse baby 8 times a day, plus wash the pump accessories and bottles, plus feed the baby who requires feeding usually 12 times a day, how long before the 3-year old boys figure out exactly how long it takes momma to get up when she says, "You better stop that right now.  If I have to get up and come after you..."

When a Danny is deployed, and a Nikki can't find a babysitter because the month of September snuck up on her, and the Biscuit has an appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist on Thursday hoping he will approve her to have her tongue-tie clipped under anesthesia, how many minutes before the office staff boots the momma with her eight kids from the waiting room?

Which of the following things will help save this momma some time?  and how much time?

a.  No cloth diapering when half your kids are in diapers.
b.  Hire someone to do the laundry.
c.  Join a nudist colony so laundry won't ever be a factor again.
d.  Pretend you joined a nudist colony as you potty train the two 3-year olds and the 21-month old in the backyard. 


Laurie Fifield said...

Definitely time for those three year olds to get potty trained. Good luck, we'll be rooting for you!

Melessa said...

I would tell you to potty train the 3 year-olds, but with everything else you are juggling; I don't have the heart. I used disposables on my newborn until she hit 10 lbs. By then there was less mess, fewer than 10 daily diaper changes, and fewer grey hairs on my head. (I hope.) I am a big fan of naked potty training...

(A typo had that reading "baked potty training" and that just sounds wrong. And hot.)

A. said...

I would vote for hiring someone to do the laundry, but seeing as that is not likely practical I'd go with pretending to be in a nudist colony and attempt potty training. lol

Lisa said...

E. all of the above. Well, maybe not joining a nudist colony, but go for the nudeed back yard potty training, but only if you have the ability to do it. No apologies. And if even one person dares give you the evil eye, I want you to put up a sign in your front window that reads: "8 kids live here, including 10 3 year old boys. I mean, 3 year old twin boys. The hubby is fighting for you. If you see a naked bum, or pile of dirty laundry, look the other way. Thank you. -The Mom"

Nikki said...

Melessa- I totally laughed at the baked potty training comment.

Lisa- I'm seriously considering painting a board orange and using black vinyl (Halloween style) to post that on my porch. hehehe I will take a pic and post here if I do. muhahaha!


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