Today I weighed myself. I am in the red 6 pounds. That means I weigh six pounds less than I did before I got pregnant. I find this absolutely ridiculous. I started this pregnancy the same amount I weighed the day I gave birth to Ham - before I gave birth that is. My largest ever. I had lost weight after his birth and probably about 10 more pounds within the first few months. But when I miscarried last May I gained 10 pounds. And somehow between that 10 pounds, and pumpkin pie and cheesecake during the holidays, I crept back up to my full glory of weight. To which I will NOT tell you how much. You'd stop reading me. really.
Anyways, I've been reading my beloved multiples book that I previously mentioned. It talks about how very important it is to gain weight throughout the pregnancy when carrying multiples-- even when you are considered overweight or obese to begin with it has a recommended amount.
So, with the enormous amounts of foods I'm supposed to be eating- and I have been doing a pretty good job of it thankyouverymuch- I should be gaining weight right? I have four servings of vegetables, 7 servings of fruit. I try to get my two eggs and 3 servings of meat in as well. I'm eating Triscuits, and Quaker Oat Squares, and whole wheat bread, and noodles and rice. I've been having ice cream milkshakes about 5 out of 7 days a week. I drink whole milk and have been eating 6-10 oz. of yogurt a day. I've been LOADING on the sour cream on to anything it can go on. I even, and I admit, felt extremely guilty about it, put sour cream on a Smart Ones meal. You know the meals you can buy from Weight Watchers that help you with portion control? Yeah. I've indulged in cheese quesadillas smothered in guacamole and of course, copious amounts of sour cream.
So what the freaking heck?! When I WANT to lose weight I CAN'T. When I'm eating like a heart attack waiting to happen AND expecting twins, I cannot budge the scale to go in the right direction.
Today I have an OB appointment. Danny is in Alabama still. I'm scared to death that the doctor will tell me one of the twins died. Danny tells me that faith and fear cannot coexist. I've tried really hard to not have time to think about this fear. But I've already lost one baby. And I miscarried last May as well. My body hurts in ways that it hasn't with previous pregnancies. I can't wait to ask him if these are "normal pains" for a twin pregnancy. But somehow I'm a bit leery about it. I'm 11 1/2 weeks. It doesn't seem like far enough to be having growing pains. But who knows. Wish me luck. And the babies.