1. Kraft Shells & Cheese combined with a can of spinach looks gross but is lunch to phlegmy-sickies.
2. Chocolate milk has the consistency of phlegm when you already have a lot of phlegm.
3. A Thin Mint (Girl Scout Cookie) looks like poop all over the face of a 21-month old.
4. When the nurse calls to give “over the phone” advice about a cold, you are guaranteed an appointment if you cough and wheeze (like you’re hacking up a lung) while talking to her.
Four thoughts are all you get when there’s this much phlegm.