I'm gonna need some reinforcements ASAP.
Since the Grandma and the Papa are experts, I think I'll head back to their house and take care of the golden retriever and they can take over here.
Frequently asked questions and their inevitable answers:
Q: Who drank all the milk?
A: You only bought 3 boxes (6 gallons) this week.
Q: Why are you crying?
A: I don't know!
Q: Why haven't you showered yet?
A: I already showered this week.
Q: Did you put on deodorant today?
A: Why do I have to put it on every day?