I was reading my friend Kathleen's blog post today and started to leave a very lengthy comment. But it seemed a little too lengthy. So I'm posting it here.
I LOVE being a mom. I love this path that I chose. But it's the hardest job in the world! Kids don't come with instructions. You have to make it up as you go along. And hope you chose wisely. Thank goodness for a wonderful Father in Heaven-- or I'd be cracking. When I am overwhelmed with my four kids, I invite over three or four friends to play for several hours. Then I realize four is easy-- I'm not ready for seven or eight. seriously. I do. Maybe I'm a nut. But when I had one, I thought it was incredibly hard. Going from no kids to one kid is a big change. Life as I knew it totally flipped. My priorities changed. My preconceived notions about parenting changed. I took him everywhere with me. I never wanted to be apart from him. Instead of sleeping when he slept like many people recommended, I sat there staring at him in awe, the perfectness and innocence he had, and just was amazed at the miracle of life. I read books as fast as I possibly could to learn how to be a good mother and to understand his needs.
When I had number two I was in total shock. No one ever told me that having two kids was hard. I had heard three was hard, but not two. Suddenly I had to divide up the time I had for my one child into time for two. And to understand their totally different personalities. Once I got over the shock of how hard it was, I was able to enjoy having two.
When I was close to delivering number three I was extremely freaked out. I called all my friends and older sisters in the ward who had three kids so I could prepare. What do I need to know? Any advice for me to help the transition go easier? You know what? No one would tell me anything about having three. They all said something to the effect of, "You'll figure it out. You're a great mom. You just learn as you go." Thanks. So when I was expecting number four, I figured, What the heck? This will probably be utter madness. I guess we'll figure it out. And many days, it is utter madness. And I love it. Because this is my calling. This is all I ever wanted to be.